Tuesday, June 19, 2012

17 Months of Sex Positivity

I've been keeping journals for about twelve years and I recently read over the one from 10/10-4/11: I broke up with my girlfriend, decided to experiment with polyamory, met my first lover (who some would call my "primary"), and began my sexual experimentation.  A friend of mine called it the beginning of my Sex Odyssey.
Sidenote: in the entry after breaking up with my girlfriend, I wrote "I'm aware that being single doesn't necessarily mean that I'll be getting laid more" BAHAHAHA!!!

How much things have changed in a year and a half amazes me.  The only time guilt and shame enter into it is in the context of bdsm.  The discovery of Susie Bright, Annie Sprinkle and other career sex enthusiasts has been inspirational, as well as befriending a few pro-doms.  In addition to expanded education, now I understand first-hand that there is no shame in living one's sexuality outside the bedroom.  It doesn't have to be silenced - in fact, people tend to benefit from open communication.  After all, four people have gotten IUDs after I wouldn't shut up about my experience.

Specific sex acts that I never thought I'd do (either because I had figured that I'd never know people who'd be into it or because there had once been no interest) are only a small part of this dramatic shift.  The attitude shift, choosing to embrace my sexuality and use it to connect with others, has been the biggest change.  Had a film of my life now been shown to the me of 17 months ago, I would have been shocked and incredibly excited.

By no means does this imply that my relationships are only about sex.  My dynamic with each lover is exercised by any give-and-take exchange and innovation.  My first lover told me that sex is communication, which has proven to be true time and time again.

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