Friday, June 1, 2012

Living Sexuality

At my old job, five coworkers crushed on me openly. Meanwhile, I was dating a ton with 3 lovers at any given time. Up until spring 2011, my life was the exact opposite of that scenario, so I was shocked that I had somehow become such a hot commodity. My appearances hadn't changed, my taste in books and music and movies hadn't changed, I'd just gotten more outspoken and bawdy and nerdy. My coworkers and friends all insisted that I create a sex newsletter of my escapades, which of course got more interesting as more people became interested in me and so on cyclically. When things reached a peak at the New Year, I asked a few people - lovers, friends, coworkers - what I was doing that made all these people flock to me. They said that I have a sexual aura. Maybe it's my pheromones (sidenote: I have a theory that my premenstrual pheromones attract misogynists), maybe it's because I move with more confidence, maybe it's my openness, etc. An actual aura seems unlikely, but perhaps I exude nerdy sex positivity like how some people exude anime cheer and others exude emo misery. Most likely, my relatively new bawdy outspokenness and self-love are what made me so suddenly appealing. I wouldn't say that sexuality is something important to me primarily because it's not a "thing." It's an inherent aspect of how I function. Maybe that's a more logical way to articulate this "sexual aura."

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