Monday, June 11, 2018

Why LGBT Pride Mass is Important

St. Paul the Apostle Catholic Church in NYC is hosting a Pride Mass this month across the street from Stonewall Inn. My life is pretty evenly divided between Catholics who're unfamiliar with LGBT pride/history, and "secular" queer people who've been pushed too far away from the Church to have any faith in it. Then there are a few of us trying to bridge the divide. This Pride Mass is St. Paul the Apostle Church bridging that divide. I'm going to attempt to explain the importance to both sides here.

Why LGBT Pride is important:

I went to Milwaukee PrideFest from 2005 through 2013, and the changes that happened there over those 8 years were absolutely incredible. The first few years photography was banned (this was before smartphones) because so many people were in the closet, protesters crowded outside, people came from around the state for the much-needed community. I knew a few teachers who feared that their participation at PrideFest would get out and they would lose their jobs. But as more celebrities came out, more conversation about LGBT rights happened on a national scale, more companies began sponsoring Pride events, more schools began getting gay-straight alliances, and more people came out, things began to change. The B52s, Cyndi Lauper, Joan Jett, and others came to perform at PrideFest! The last couple years, the only protester was a local joke who drag queens posed in front of for pictures. Child-friendly sections of the festival grounds opened, and people brought their kids! I interned at The Alliance School, a high school for LGBT kids who'd been bullied out of their schools, and they've been holding their graduation ceremonies at PrideFest for years!
There are still LGBT people getting kicked out of their homes by their parents, losing their jobs (especially under Christian employers), being beaten and killed and "corrective" raped. Compared to the rest of the population, a disproportionate number of LGBT people are incarcerated, homeless, and/or clinically depressed. Pride is community, culture, and history that both memorializes those we have lost and provides a safehaven away from that pain. I used Milwaukee PrideFest as an example because it shows precisely how LGBT communities can thrive through Pride in a way that couldn't happen without it.

Why Mass is important in this context:

Mass is when Catholics gather together and share Communion as a community of equals. Usually, the Bible readings leading up to Communion highlight God's presence in the poor, downtrodden, exiled, and despised. Communion is the epitome of that. "The body of Christ" refers to both the actual Eucharist and the people sharing it.
To have Mass across the street from Stonewall Inn (where Sylvia Rivera and Marsha P. Johnson lead a protest against a violent police raid on the gay bar in 1969) is to acknowledge that the people there have that presence too. An explicitly LGBT Mass proclaims LGBT people as "the body of Christ."

This LGBT Pride Mass isn't a solution, it's a step in building a bridge. The Church has many more steps to take, but I think that explaining the details of this huge step to both sides might make building that bridge easier.

Sunday, May 20, 2018

System Racism and Domestic Abuse

As I've been trying to figure out systemic racism in the United States, I've begun to notice commonalities with domestic abuse. Both involve one party attaining power by taking power away from the other party, the grooming of both the prey and of peers in order to attain power more smoothly, the destruction of the prey's identity and resources and relationships, and putting the onus of reconciliation on the prey rather than on the predator. Although I've been working on this idea for months now, I haven't been certain enough of the parallels to put words to it.

What I've been hearing more and more often since the presidential election, particularly from people of color, particularly from Black people, is that the silver lining is how undeniable both overt and systemic racism have become. Racism in the United States is much more blatant now. At first I couldn't see how this development could possibly be good or helpful, but I shut my mouth and opened my ears. So many voices that know a lot more than I do have been saying this, there must be something to it.

It finally clicked for me when I realized the statement "at least X doesn't hit you" is no different from "racism ended with the civil rights movement." The most inconspicuous domestic abuse is the most effective domestic abuse - most people just don't know how to help or even believe someone who doesn't have bruises. In the same vein, the most inconspicuous racism (notice that it's most inconspicuous to the people who benefit most from it) has been the most pervasive racism. How often has it been argued "I can't be racist, I have a black friend" as though the perceived tolerance of one person excuses one's behavior? Fr. Bryan Massingale has spoken about the misconception of racism as an overt, clearly stated declaration. This misconception is both a product of and a contributing factor towards the systemic racism upon which the United States has been built.
In the same vein, domestic abuse that is not physically violent is rarely taken seriously in one's community. It's often brushed aside as a misunderstanding, all in the prey's head, or told "they don't really mean it." Spouses and children are usually told to try to please the person, usually someone in a position of authority, in order to mend the bond. This only draws more power to the abuser, who continues to benefit from the abuse. Prey who are unfamiliar with domestic abuse usually don't have words to describe what's happening to them, and can't/won't call it "abuse" simply because it isn't physical. Often only after the prey shows visible signs of physical abuse do schools, CPS, police, communities intercede - this is due partly to low resources, and partly to the easy deniability of abuse that is not physical.

Months ago, I thought I was going crazy for thinking that systemic racism is essentially domestic abuse on a large scale. Now I wonder if these macrocosms and microcosms are symptoms of a larger human problem?