I found a pamphlet today, at Church of Gesu in Milwaukee, entitled "The Marylike Standards for: Modesty in Dress." Printed by The Fatima Center, fatima.org is their site. Inside, The Cardinal Vicar of Pope Pius XI is quoted on women's clothing - words from 100 YEARS AGO!! Then there's a checklist of 7 points regarding measurements and material of women's clothing. Very precise.
There is the statement "Note: because of impossible market conditions quarter-length sleeves are temporarily tolerated with Ecclesiastical Approval, until Christian womanhood again turns to Mary as the model of modesty in dress." Christian womanhood in terms of apparel? Don't different Christian women find solace and support in different models for different reasons? Allowing quarter-length sleeves sure is accommodating, but I'd be more concerned about protecting ALL women from sexual assault. Which brings me to my next point -
"A girl who follows these...she will not be an occasion of sin or source of embarrassment or shame to others." A person can't be an occasion of anything because a person is a person. I don't know what The Fatima Center meant by "occasion of sin" but I do know that clothing is not responsible for sexual assault or rape, the rapist is. And if anyone should be ashamed, it's the person who chooses to be embarrassed by another person's appearance. The Fatima Center seems to have forgotten much of the Gospels, particularly Luke 7:36-50. Church of Gesu had no similar pamphlets regarding men's garb or behavior, nor does Fatima.org mention any such modesty in dress for men.
And lastly, The Fatima Center holds no respect for women's decisions regarding their own bodies. Slacks, jeans and shorts are banned - how is a woman supposed to run or jump or climb or bike? Shouldn't this be an individual's decision?
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Sunday, May 5, 2013
gurl.com
In the late 90's, gurl.com was an internet haven. Modeled after riot grrrl zines with strong emphasis on DIY and self-love, it was a gritty alternative to other teen girl sites. Celebrities were rarely mentioned and diets were considered personal decisions based on medical advice. Political awareness was prioritized over designer labels, but nothing was more important than supporting one another through self-care and exploration. The discussion forums were remarkable with intelligent conversation.
Miserable in my unstable environment and barely grasping feminism, I adored gurl.com. At 13 I'd been put on Prozac against my will and it only made things spiral even further; my research and discussion on gurl.com convinced me to fake-swallow the pill - the advisers and peers on there listened to me more than my mother and her shrink!! On top of all that, talking to others in my position made me realize I wasn't so alone: other girls had depression, preferred music from the 60's, weren't allowed outside of their houses, had crushes on girls, admired goth kids just for dressing goth, experimented with religion, etc. Although a few years went by before I got into riot grrrl music and feminist comics and zines, gurl.com at least provided me with the awareness that such things existed.
There were fantastic by-girls-for-girls comics. They illustrated what other teen girl media either ignored or poorly parodied: school cliques, the destructive and addictive inner voice of self-doubt, being torn between passion over something nerdy and wanting popularity, eating disorders and anti-depressants. One comic that I remember very vividly was about an outcast girl who glamorized her depression, convincing herself that she was really an outcast because of her cynicism rather than because of her shyness and extremely neglectful parents. Until seeing that, I'd had no idea that's what I'd been doing.
gurl.com also released this book, which I adored but wasn't allowed to buy. At least this is still available for teen girls today.
The site has changed a LOT. About 12 years ago, it began to actively compete with other teen girl sites with the strategy of emulating them. Having switched from desperate preteen to counseling young adult, I was very disappointed in the shift. User contribution had less influence and, besides, I was socializing more in real life finally. Today, gurl.com is closer to its original mission with realistic dating advice, comics, sex-positive and factual sex ed, and self-love. However, celebrity gossip and trendy fashion still hold sway. Nevertheless, gurl.com was very helpful for awkward girls in the late 90's and early 00's and I hope it can still do the same today.
Miserable in my unstable environment and barely grasping feminism, I adored gurl.com. At 13 I'd been put on Prozac against my will and it only made things spiral even further; my research and discussion on gurl.com convinced me to fake-swallow the pill - the advisers and peers on there listened to me more than my mother and her shrink!! On top of all that, talking to others in my position made me realize I wasn't so alone: other girls had depression, preferred music from the 60's, weren't allowed outside of their houses, had crushes on girls, admired goth kids just for dressing goth, experimented with religion, etc. Although a few years went by before I got into riot grrrl music and feminist comics and zines, gurl.com at least provided me with the awareness that such things existed.
There were fantastic by-girls-for-girls comics. They illustrated what other teen girl media either ignored or poorly parodied: school cliques, the destructive and addictive inner voice of self-doubt, being torn between passion over something nerdy and wanting popularity, eating disorders and anti-depressants. One comic that I remember very vividly was about an outcast girl who glamorized her depression, convincing herself that she was really an outcast because of her cynicism rather than because of her shyness and extremely neglectful parents. Until seeing that, I'd had no idea that's what I'd been doing.
gurl.com also released this book, which I adored but wasn't allowed to buy. At least this is still available for teen girls today.
The site has changed a LOT. About 12 years ago, it began to actively compete with other teen girl sites with the strategy of emulating them. Having switched from desperate preteen to counseling young adult, I was very disappointed in the shift. User contribution had less influence and, besides, I was socializing more in real life finally. Today, gurl.com is closer to its original mission with realistic dating advice, comics, sex-positive and factual sex ed, and self-love. However, celebrity gossip and trendy fashion still hold sway. Nevertheless, gurl.com was very helpful for awkward girls in the late 90's and early 00's and I hope it can still do the same today.
Friday, February 8, 2013
Sunday, February 3, 2013
My Art Stories
1997, I took an art class during summer school. The teacher, who also substitute-taught and ran the day care, taught us how to draw [Aryan] facial and bodily proportions. She included pencils, chalk pastels, oil pastels and watercolors in the class, which took place in the school library so we could copy pictures out of books. I soaked it up, combining parts of pictures to create something new and experimenting with perspective. Our final project was to draw something in chalk pastels on a large sheet of butcher paper.
In the 70's, my mother took a remedial painting class. Her high-quality acrylics and paintbrushes sat in a tacklebox under a spare bed those 20+ years. On the backside of that butcher paper, I glued down sections that I had cut out from a floral Tiffany calendar and then painted the rest: a flowery landscape with an ocean, mountains in the distance and a sunset/rise. At 11 years of age, I did this completely on my own.
Immediately after finishing my first painting, I, with permission, painted a mural of a vivid sunset on my bedroom wall. Cobalt, navy blue and indigo clouds lined with bright red highlights from the marigold sun. My cousin took notice of my newfound love of art and began taking me to a figure drawing studio. She wholeheartedly supported my passion and still does today.
When I first began painting, my mother asked me "how do you know where to put what color?"
Around that time, my half-sister gave me annual membership to the Art Institute of Chicago for a couple years. This is an incredible gift to anyone, particularly a child. In addition to free visits to the Art Institute, a monthly magazine was mailed out - I held onto these for many years, my only access to color photos of artwork at home. However, my mother never took me there as it was "too far," "too expensive" and "dangerous." I really wish now that I had snuck out and gone myself, as the subway route from her house to the Art Institute is so direct and safe. But as an adult, I made use of my membership by visiting about 15 times a year!
In that summer school class, each student had a sketchbook and we were all assigned to draw certain things each week to demonstrate what we had learned - facial features, expressions, different ways of shading, etc. I still have it, filled with both assignments and my own creations. And ever since then, I've always had a sketchbook - probably the artist's greatest tool.
In the 70's, my mother took a remedial painting class. Her high-quality acrylics and paintbrushes sat in a tacklebox under a spare bed those 20+ years. On the backside of that butcher paper, I glued down sections that I had cut out from a floral Tiffany calendar and then painted the rest: a flowery landscape with an ocean, mountains in the distance and a sunset/rise. At 11 years of age, I did this completely on my own.
Immediately after finishing my first painting, I, with permission, painted a mural of a vivid sunset on my bedroom wall. Cobalt, navy blue and indigo clouds lined with bright red highlights from the marigold sun. My cousin took notice of my newfound love of art and began taking me to a figure drawing studio. She wholeheartedly supported my passion and still does today.
When I first began painting, my mother asked me "how do you know where to put what color?"
Around that time, my half-sister gave me annual membership to the Art Institute of Chicago for a couple years. This is an incredible gift to anyone, particularly a child. In addition to free visits to the Art Institute, a monthly magazine was mailed out - I held onto these for many years, my only access to color photos of artwork at home. However, my mother never took me there as it was "too far," "too expensive" and "dangerous." I really wish now that I had snuck out and gone myself, as the subway route from her house to the Art Institute is so direct and safe. But as an adult, I made use of my membership by visiting about 15 times a year!
In that summer school class, each student had a sketchbook and we were all assigned to draw certain things each week to demonstrate what we had learned - facial features, expressions, different ways of shading, etc. I still have it, filled with both assignments and my own creations. And ever since then, I've always had a sketchbook - probably the artist's greatest tool.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Barefoot Disney Princesses
Finally watched Brave last night and realized that Merida is the most recent Disney "princess" to be shown barefoot. Snow White, Cinderella, Aurora, Wendy, (is Alice shown barefoot? She's not a princess but she's an animated Disney leading lady), Maid Marian, Eilonwy, Ariel, Jasmine, Pocahontas, Esmerelda, Jane, Mulan, Megara, Lilo, Kida, Tiana, Rapunzel and now Merida. Belle is the only one who isn't.
Each one is shown barefoot in relation to being either lower-class (Snow White, Cinderella, Aurora, Tiana, Jane, Esmerelda, Lilo, Mulan Pocahontas, Ariel, etc.) and/or ass-kicking (Maid Marian, Eilonwy, Jasmine, Megara, Kida, Rapunzel, Merida). To be shown barefoot generally, though, is a sign of vulnerability - Wendy is the only one who emphasizes this. Some would even call it sexual.
It just seems strange to me that there would be this trend. Whether it's to make the animation more simple or more creative, I couldn't say. I'm just curious as to why, and why Belle (and Alice?) are the only ones who aren't shown barefoot.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Galena, IL and Sexual Fantasies
A native Chicagoan, I’ve been taking trips to Galena IL my entire
life. It’s a gorgeous rural territory, rolling hills with elegant
cottages and very few people. I came here with either parent at least
once a year until Feb 2007, my last visit. Life (monogamous
relationships in which selfless maintenance took place of self-love)
just got in the way. The birthdays of my lover and I, though, are very
close to each other and as we now live 200 miles apart, we agreed to
come/cum here..
As a child, I was a near-constant daydreamer. Inner fantasies kept me going and 99% of them took place in Galena. This wasn’t an intentional decision, my mind just settled here. Upon puberty, my daydreams became more erotic. Most of my imaginary stories involved overly dramatic, highly romantic sexcapades there. I figured that these would someday become my honeymoon, as I’d certainly keep myself clean until marriage XP
And now I’m actually having my Galena sex vacation. The resort doesn’t ooze seduction, but the relaxing atmosphere and utter seclusion welcome it. And our cottage has a jacuzzi! This actual sex vacation doesn’t line up at all with my adolescent daydreams, mostly because there’s no interest in marriage and we don’t look like actors in early 90’s music videos (think Total Eclipse of the Heart and I Would Do Anything For Love). Fantasies, not just a teenager’s, rarely involve emergency runs to the general store or watching South Park when you’re exhausted from sex or wet willy wars - unless you’re into that kind of thing. Those imagined stories wouldn’t be as great in real life anyway, as it’s much more romantic to imagine someone who would do anything only for your smile/orgasm than to actually deal with such a person in real life. Fantasy serves its purpose, arguably because it’s unrealistic, but this trip has been absolutely incredible even with reality :)
As a child, I was a near-constant daydreamer. Inner fantasies kept me going and 99% of them took place in Galena. This wasn’t an intentional decision, my mind just settled here. Upon puberty, my daydreams became more erotic. Most of my imaginary stories involved overly dramatic, highly romantic sexcapades there. I figured that these would someday become my honeymoon, as I’d certainly keep myself clean until marriage XP
And now I’m actually having my Galena sex vacation. The resort doesn’t ooze seduction, but the relaxing atmosphere and utter seclusion welcome it. And our cottage has a jacuzzi! This actual sex vacation doesn’t line up at all with my adolescent daydreams, mostly because there’s no interest in marriage and we don’t look like actors in early 90’s music videos (think Total Eclipse of the Heart and I Would Do Anything For Love). Fantasies, not just a teenager’s, rarely involve emergency runs to the general store or watching South Park when you’re exhausted from sex or wet willy wars - unless you’re into that kind of thing. Those imagined stories wouldn’t be as great in real life anyway, as it’s much more romantic to imagine someone who would do anything only for your smile/orgasm than to actually deal with such a person in real life. Fantasy serves its purpose, arguably because it’s unrealistic, but this trip has been absolutely incredible even with reality :)
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Painting Consistency
Summer '98, I picked up the paintbrush and
acrylics that had been in my mother's storage for decades and just
started painting. No prompts, no education, I just began painting.
That's the only consistent thing between my life then and now.
My goal, until late college, was to marry and have children. As a 12 year old in an extremist parish, it was expected that I would marry within six years and then have a baby less than two years after that. Travel, feminism, higher education, writing, etc. didn't fit into any of that. If I could tell my self fourteen years ago about my life now, she would be terribly disappointed and shocked at my independence. It took breaking ties with unhealthy, abusive people to understand personal control, self-reliance and self-love.
Painting would be the only thing of my life now that would please my 12 year old self. It all started with random experimentation. I found that I was able to communicate things that can't be put into words, though my reading and writing were already at a 12th grade level. And I did it for myself. Kept alone indoors whenever I wasn't in school, this was a way of making my inner world come alive. That hasn't changed, though it's a way of communicating with both others and myself rather than primarily as a means of self-soothing escape. My 12 year old self would be thrilled that I have a bachelor's in art and that I create almost daily.
My second painting, a mural in my bedroom. No prompting, no reference, I came up with this completely on my own:
My goal, until late college, was to marry and have children. As a 12 year old in an extremist parish, it was expected that I would marry within six years and then have a baby less than two years after that. Travel, feminism, higher education, writing, etc. didn't fit into any of that. If I could tell my self fourteen years ago about my life now, she would be terribly disappointed and shocked at my independence. It took breaking ties with unhealthy, abusive people to understand personal control, self-reliance and self-love.
Painting would be the only thing of my life now that would please my 12 year old self. It all started with random experimentation. I found that I was able to communicate things that can't be put into words, though my reading and writing were already at a 12th grade level. And I did it for myself. Kept alone indoors whenever I wasn't in school, this was a way of making my inner world come alive. That hasn't changed, though it's a way of communicating with both others and myself rather than primarily as a means of self-soothing escape. My 12 year old self would be thrilled that I have a bachelor's in art and that I create almost daily.
My second painting, a mural in my bedroom. No prompting, no reference, I came up with this completely on my own:
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