St. Paul the Apostle Catholic Church in NYC is hosting a Pride Mass this month across the street from Stonewall Inn. My life is pretty evenly divided between Catholics who're unfamiliar with LGBT pride/history, and "secular" queer people who've been pushed too far away from the Church to have any faith in it. Then there are a few of us trying to bridge the divide. This Pride Mass is St. Paul the Apostle Church bridging that divide. I'm going to attempt to explain the importance to both sides here.
Why LGBT Pride is important:
I went to Milwaukee PrideFest from 2005 through 2013, and the changes that happened there over those 8 years were absolutely incredible. The first few years photography was banned (this was before smartphones) because so many people were in the closet, protesters crowded outside, people came from around the state for the much-needed community. I knew a few teachers who feared that their participation at PrideFest would get out and they would lose their jobs. But as more celebrities came out, more conversation about LGBT rights happened on a national scale, more companies began sponsoring Pride events, more schools began getting gay-straight alliances, and more people came out, things began to change. The B52s, Cyndi Lauper, Joan Jett, and others came to perform at PrideFest! The last couple years, the only protester was a local joke who drag queens posed in front of for pictures. Child-friendly sections of the festival grounds opened, and people brought their kids! I interned at The Alliance School, a high school for LGBT kids who'd been bullied out of their schools, and they've been holding their graduation ceremonies at PrideFest for years!
There are still LGBT people getting kicked out of their homes by their parents, losing their jobs (especially under Christian employers), being beaten and killed and "corrective" raped. Compared to the rest of the population, a disproportionate number of LGBT people are incarcerated, homeless, and/or clinically depressed. Pride is community, culture, and history that both memorializes those we have lost and provides a safehaven away from that pain. I used Milwaukee PrideFest as an example because it shows precisely how LGBT communities can thrive through Pride in a way that couldn't happen without it.
Why Mass is important in this context:
Mass is when Catholics gather together and share Communion as a community of equals. Usually, the Bible readings leading up to Communion highlight God's presence in the poor, downtrodden, exiled, and despised. Communion is the epitome of that. "The body of Christ" refers to both the actual Eucharist and the people sharing it.
To have Mass across the street from Stonewall Inn (where Sylvia Rivera and Marsha P. Johnson lead a protest against a violent police raid on the gay bar in 1969) is to acknowledge that the people there have that presence too. An explicitly LGBT Mass proclaims LGBT people as "the body of Christ."
This LGBT Pride Mass isn't a solution, it's a step in building a bridge. The Church has many more steps to take, but I think that explaining the details of this huge step to both sides might make building that bridge easier.
Showing posts with label catholic church. Show all posts
Showing posts with label catholic church. Show all posts
Monday, June 11, 2018
Friday, August 18, 2017
Pew-fillers and the aftermath of Charlottesville
Since my return to the Catholic Church, I've noticed a large gap between the actively involved parishioners and those who sit in the pew until receiving Communion and then leaving until next Sunday.
Let me be clear. I am aware that many people can't be as involved as they might want to be. Family, career, or health demands get in the way; maybe their parish's ministries and social groups aren't welcoming, or they don't consider themselves skilled enough to participate further (you are!). Some people are active in ways that don't involve the parish proper, whether at home, volunteering, or academically.
It stunned me the first few times parishioners told me "it's great that you're so involved. I don't even listen to the homily, I just come for Communion." Why?! Maybe it just isn't in me to take every part of the Church for granted since I was away for so long. In fact, I took it for granted that everyone there is there because they want to be there 100% - not just to sit in a pew for an hour a week. I'm there largely to make sure that the things that drove me away don't happen to anyone else. It's been struggle for me over the past few months to just let pew-fillers be rather than exhausting myself over attempts to motivate them.
Since the white supremacist "rally" at Charlottesville, many white Catholic bishops, priests, educators, women religious, and activists have spoken out against white supremacy. How much action is behind these words varies, and I'm trying to remain realistically optimistic - pessimism is not a motivator. Complaints from Catholics, generally those who're disillusioned from Catholic institutions altogether, point to the bishops and priests who have gone about business as usual. These passionate Catholics call to mind Rev. Bryan Massingale, Sr. Thea Bowman, Dr. Diana L. Hayes, and the dozens of Black Catholics who have been calling out the Church in America for its inaction and ignorance for decades.
I worry that the division between Catholics who work to dismantle white supremacy, and "business as usual" white Catholics is widening to the point that the latter group will intermingle with racist Catholics. And I wonder if that division lines up at all with the gap between active Catholics and pew-fillers. Ultimately, I worry that the passionate Catholics working to dismantle white supremacy will eventually become so disillusioned that they (we?) will leave altogether. And then who will be left?
Let me be clear. I am aware that many people can't be as involved as they might want to be. Family, career, or health demands get in the way; maybe their parish's ministries and social groups aren't welcoming, or they don't consider themselves skilled enough to participate further (you are!). Some people are active in ways that don't involve the parish proper, whether at home, volunteering, or academically.
It stunned me the first few times parishioners told me "it's great that you're so involved. I don't even listen to the homily, I just come for Communion." Why?! Maybe it just isn't in me to take every part of the Church for granted since I was away for so long. In fact, I took it for granted that everyone there is there because they want to be there 100% - not just to sit in a pew for an hour a week. I'm there largely to make sure that the things that drove me away don't happen to anyone else. It's been struggle for me over the past few months to just let pew-fillers be rather than exhausting myself over attempts to motivate them.
Since the white supremacist "rally" at Charlottesville, many white Catholic bishops, priests, educators, women religious, and activists have spoken out against white supremacy. How much action is behind these words varies, and I'm trying to remain realistically optimistic - pessimism is not a motivator. Complaints from Catholics, generally those who're disillusioned from Catholic institutions altogether, point to the bishops and priests who have gone about business as usual. These passionate Catholics call to mind Rev. Bryan Massingale, Sr. Thea Bowman, Dr. Diana L. Hayes, and the dozens of Black Catholics who have been calling out the Church in America for its inaction and ignorance for decades.
I worry that the division between Catholics who work to dismantle white supremacy, and "business as usual" white Catholics is widening to the point that the latter group will intermingle with racist Catholics. And I wonder if that division lines up at all with the gap between active Catholics and pew-fillers. Ultimately, I worry that the passionate Catholics working to dismantle white supremacy will eventually become so disillusioned that they (we?) will leave altogether. And then who will be left?
Tuesday, February 14, 2017
Presenting "faith journey" aka existential crisis
Every Sunday from now until January, I'm meeting with a group of Catholic women for personal formation, community discipleship, and event planning. We will facilitate a women's spiritual retreat after our last meeting. The dozen of us went through the same retreat last month, facilitated by women who had met together all of last year.
Event planning is well-rehearsed. Community discipleship is new to me in terms of spirituality, but otherwise not that different from my experiences in other goal-oriented groups. Alverno College prepared me well for both of these.
The primary way that personal formation is achieved through these meetings is through a half hour presentation, followed by "affirmations" from the rest of the group. Most of the retreat consisted of these presentations, edited and refined throughout last year's meetings, and then reflections on them both alone and in small groups. The two leaders of my group, seasoned facilitators, will give their presentations again and then give some light guidance while we dozen prepare our own.
These presentations will focus on each individual's personal "faith journey," how each person got to where we are now. Guidelines are loose, though based on the presentations at the retreat most of these women speak almost exclusively about their relationships with their parents, their husbands, and their children.
It's only been a day and a half since the first meeting and I've already turned this into a full-on existential crisis! Go me! I'm such an overachiever! I signed up to be one of the first presenters partly so I won't have to think about it for more than a month, and partly + selfishly so I can give a little lesson about good public speaking skills right away (if one more person clicks her tongue after every sentence, I'm going to scream). The more I think about my journey the more I delve into gender and feminist theory, liberation theology, and nihilism vs. existentialism. This sums up my progress thusfar ("ppl" = people):
Here is this unusual opportunity to talk about myself openly before a group for a half hour, and... this is very cheesy... if I talk about theory, then who am I? If my developing plan to speak about my journey consists mostly of concepts that exist outside of me, then what does that say about me? The debate and contemplation of these ideas will continue after me, the same can't be said about relationships (I wonder how many people identify through their relationships out of a fear of mortality?). But if I end up impacting these studies through academia, does that reflect on the quality/value of my life? If I don't, does that imply failure?
It's not that people, places, and events aren't important to me, I just can't imagine filling up more than 15 minutes with talking about only them as a reference to my self. But these concepts, I could - and do! - go on and on and on.
At the first meeting the other day, each person summarized their personal goal as an individual in the group for the year. Mine was "be an agent of change." That tends to be my goal/role in Catholic communities altogether, and it's what I hope to achieve through grad school (next year???). The retreat highlighted how alone I feel as a whole human being in these communities and I don't expect that to change as long as I aim to facilitate change. I'm just not certain what it says about me as a whole human being presenting oneself through theory.
Event planning is well-rehearsed. Community discipleship is new to me in terms of spirituality, but otherwise not that different from my experiences in other goal-oriented groups. Alverno College prepared me well for both of these.
The primary way that personal formation is achieved through these meetings is through a half hour presentation, followed by "affirmations" from the rest of the group. Most of the retreat consisted of these presentations, edited and refined throughout last year's meetings, and then reflections on them both alone and in small groups. The two leaders of my group, seasoned facilitators, will give their presentations again and then give some light guidance while we dozen prepare our own.
These presentations will focus on each individual's personal "faith journey," how each person got to where we are now. Guidelines are loose, though based on the presentations at the retreat most of these women speak almost exclusively about their relationships with their parents, their husbands, and their children.
It's only been a day and a half since the first meeting and I've already turned this into a full-on existential crisis! Go me! I'm such an overachiever! I signed up to be one of the first presenters partly so I won't have to think about it for more than a month, and partly + selfishly so I can give a little lesson about good public speaking skills right away (if one more person clicks her tongue after every sentence, I'm going to scream). The more I think about my journey the more I delve into gender and feminist theory, liberation theology, and nihilism vs. existentialism. This sums up my progress thusfar ("ppl" = people):
It's not that people, places, and events aren't important to me, I just can't imagine filling up more than 15 minutes with talking about only them as a reference to my self. But these concepts, I could - and do! - go on and on and on.
At the first meeting the other day, each person summarized their personal goal as an individual in the group for the year. Mine was "be an agent of change." That tends to be my goal/role in Catholic communities altogether, and it's what I hope to achieve through grad school (next year???). The retreat highlighted how alone I feel as a whole human being in these communities and I don't expect that to change as long as I aim to facilitate change. I'm just not certain what it says about me as a whole human being presenting oneself through theory.
Sunday, July 10, 2016
Catholic community: sexuality vs wealth
Over the past 10 weeks I have been involved in a Catholic parish through attending Mass, talking with parishioners after service, participating in a Pastoral Plan Listening Session, meeting with two spiritual directors, and joining a theology discussion group. Finding a Catholic community that values hospitality was a long and difficult struggle. My enjoyment of this one is mingled with hesitation that it may all crumble into more of the same shame-focused elitism I'd found at other parishes over the past 3 years.
A significant portion of this hesitation roots in my sexual activity. The vast majority of parishioners are married parents, and the few single members I've met seek to join them. I've been open about my intention to continue "single" and childfree to no response, I think they either don't know how to react to that or just see it as none of their business (hopefully the latter). What I haven't revealed, though, is that I'm polyamorous. It hasn't come up in context. Sex & sexuality, in fact, haven't come up at all. Which is both a relief and frustrating - I prefer being casually open altogether. Neither my sexuality, nor my focus on sex ed, nor my polyamory play a large role in my spirituality; which only baffles me further when religious communities use those standards for judgement.
Contingent with my hesitation to be open about my polyamory is the wealth of the parishioners. Every Sunday the church's parking lot fills with BMW, Lexus, Mercedes, Audi, all new. I've been to two parishioners' houses and was stunned at the luxury. Infinity pools! 4 car garages! Stunning views of suburban Texas hillcountry! Marble countertops, multiple fireplaces, second story balconies, full wine racks, cathedral windows, oriental rugs. It's made me reconsider my material wealth. Although I'm not in a place to give financially, I've begun seeking out ways to give my time.
Sidenote: growing up Catholic in the MidWest, I saw dirt poor parishes and incredibly wealthy parishes and everything in between. Both blue collar and immigrant parishes were commonplace. Here in Austin, all Anglo parishes I've found have been white collar upper class - the only others are Latino, and I admit fault for knowing very little about them as I know almost no Spanish. Anyway, maybe the parishioners' wealth here is so obvious to me because it's so uniform.
The idea that I would be shamed for my sexual activity when I share the pew with those who live with such incredible material wealth is chafing. I haven't been to Confession in 16 years and this disparity is a new reason to avoid it further. I'm honest, open, and safe with my lovers: nobody is hurt (and there's nothing anyone can say to convince me that we're "hurting our souls"). But when I see that wealth, I see food withheld from the hungry, shelter withheld from the homeless, medicine withheld from the sick, and justice withheld from the imprisoned. And yet big names in the Church condemn my actions first. It remains to be seen whether or not this parish with join them, or if they'll continue to try to meet me where I am.
A significant portion of this hesitation roots in my sexual activity. The vast majority of parishioners are married parents, and the few single members I've met seek to join them. I've been open about my intention to continue "single" and childfree to no response, I think they either don't know how to react to that or just see it as none of their business (hopefully the latter). What I haven't revealed, though, is that I'm polyamorous. It hasn't come up in context. Sex & sexuality, in fact, haven't come up at all. Which is both a relief and frustrating - I prefer being casually open altogether. Neither my sexuality, nor my focus on sex ed, nor my polyamory play a large role in my spirituality; which only baffles me further when religious communities use those standards for judgement.
Contingent with my hesitation to be open about my polyamory is the wealth of the parishioners. Every Sunday the church's parking lot fills with BMW, Lexus, Mercedes, Audi, all new. I've been to two parishioners' houses and was stunned at the luxury. Infinity pools! 4 car garages! Stunning views of suburban Texas hillcountry! Marble countertops, multiple fireplaces, second story balconies, full wine racks, cathedral windows, oriental rugs. It's made me reconsider my material wealth. Although I'm not in a place to give financially, I've begun seeking out ways to give my time.
Sidenote: growing up Catholic in the MidWest, I saw dirt poor parishes and incredibly wealthy parishes and everything in between. Both blue collar and immigrant parishes were commonplace. Here in Austin, all Anglo parishes I've found have been white collar upper class - the only others are Latino, and I admit fault for knowing very little about them as I know almost no Spanish. Anyway, maybe the parishioners' wealth here is so obvious to me because it's so uniform.
The idea that I would be shamed for my sexual activity when I share the pew with those who live with such incredible material wealth is chafing. I haven't been to Confession in 16 years and this disparity is a new reason to avoid it further. I'm honest, open, and safe with my lovers: nobody is hurt (and there's nothing anyone can say to convince me that we're "hurting our souls"). But when I see that wealth, I see food withheld from the hungry, shelter withheld from the homeless, medicine withheld from the sick, and justice withheld from the imprisoned. And yet big names in the Church condemn my actions first. It remains to be seen whether or not this parish with join them, or if they'll continue to try to meet me where I am.
Saturday, June 4, 2016
Pastoral Plan Listening Session
The parish I've been visiting the past four weeks had a Pastoral Plan Listening Session a few days ago. This was a meeting in which lay parishioners could give their feedback to a pastoral council about things they like about the parish and things they want changed. I haven't been there long enough to contribute in great detail, but since I have the freshest impression they wanted me to communicate it with them. They requested an email, as long as I wanted, and I thought I would share it here (edited to leave out personal details):
Greetings,
I attended the Pastoral Plan Listening Session at St. ... the evening of Tuesday, May 31st. I had to leave early, but the facilitator at my small group table encouraged me to email my feedback.
Firstly, I'll introduce myself and give you some idea of my background. My name is K, I am 30 years old, I am both single and childfree and have no intentions of changing that. I earned my bachelor's degree at an all-women's Franciscan college in Milwaukee, I graduated from a Jesuit high school in a Chicago suburb, and I attended a so-called Catholic K-8 school in Chicago. It was only when I graduated from this K-8 school, when the Church sex abuse scandal was beginning to hit the mainstream news, that I discovered that this school was not alone in its abuses and that it wasn't part of the Chicago Archdiocese. Because the school was so cruel and extreme in both doctrine and practice, the Chicago Archdiocese refused to include it among its parishes. Although I left the Church personally when I left that school, the Jesuits and Franciscan nuns worked very hard to help me heal and to understand that the cruelties of the abusers were not the acts of God.
Roughly four years ago I began returning to the Church very gradually. Initially, my reasoning was that if there is going to be a certain amount of my life spent in Mass, I don't want the majority of that time to have been spent under the control of those abusers. I began returning to Mass in order to tip the scales, and through that healing process the priority became ... finding a community that is spiritually connected. This has proven to be very difficult.
At the Pastoral Plan Listening Session, I both explained to the facilitator and wrote on my worksheet that what has stood out most to me at St. ... is the hospitality. Although I have lived in Austin for a little over a year, ... I attended Mass at five or six churches in the Austin Diocese before going to St. .... At those other churches, either nobody spoke to me or I was given a book/pamphlet and told "this will tell you everything you need to know about X parish" and that was it. My first time at St. ... was morning Mass 5/2/16 and as soon as the service ended and I walked through the narthex, a parishioner introduced herself and shook my hand. Before moving to Austin, I explored parishes in Nashville and Milwaukee as well as Quaker meetings and American Catholic churches - St. ... was only the third place in which anyone extended this hospitality, and the first Roman Catholic parish.
Greetings,
I attended the Pastoral Plan Listening Session at St. ... the evening of Tuesday, May 31st. I had to leave early, but the facilitator at my small group table encouraged me to email my feedback.
Firstly, I'll introduce myself and give you some idea of my background. My name is K, I am 30 years old, I am both single and childfree and have no intentions of changing that. I earned my bachelor's degree at an all-women's Franciscan college in Milwaukee, I graduated from a Jesuit high school in a Chicago suburb, and I attended a so-called Catholic K-8 school in Chicago. It was only when I graduated from this K-8 school, when the Church sex abuse scandal was beginning to hit the mainstream news, that I discovered that this school was not alone in its abuses and that it wasn't part of the Chicago Archdiocese. Because the school was so cruel and extreme in both doctrine and practice, the Chicago Archdiocese refused to include it among its parishes. Although I left the Church personally when I left that school, the Jesuits and Franciscan nuns worked very hard to help me heal and to understand that the cruelties of the abusers were not the acts of God.
Roughly four years ago I began returning to the Church very gradually. Initially, my reasoning was that if there is going to be a certain amount of my life spent in Mass, I don't want the majority of that time to have been spent under the control of those abusers. I began returning to Mass in order to tip the scales, and through that healing process the priority became ... finding a community that is spiritually connected. This has proven to be very difficult.
At the Pastoral Plan Listening Session, I both explained to the facilitator and wrote on my worksheet that what has stood out most to me at St. ... is the hospitality. Although I have lived in Austin for a little over a year, ... I attended Mass at five or six churches in the Austin Diocese before going to St. .... At those other churches, either nobody spoke to me or I was given a book/pamphlet and told "this will tell you everything you need to know about X parish" and that was it. My first time at St. ... was morning Mass 5/2/16 and as soon as the service ended and I walked through the narthex, a parishioner introduced herself and shook my hand. Before moving to Austin, I explored parishes in Nashville and Milwaukee as well as Quaker meetings and American Catholic churches - St. ... was only the third place in which anyone extended this hospitality, and the first Roman Catholic parish.
After this parishioner introduced herself and asked me a few polite questions, she invited me to Connections and emailed, from her own personal email, me information about the group. I came the the next night and about half of the participants welcomed me in a similar manner. I've attended every Connections meeting I could as well as Sunday Mass. Intellectual discussions pertaining to theology and service are very appealing to me, and I enjoy the exchange of ideas at Connections.
Hospitality has been a remarkable strength of St. ..., as well as its diversity of ministries and the comprehensive information about them provided both on the parish website and at the parish itself. Church life is evident there every day of the week rather than just on Sundays, and that is very refreshing. The one specific thing that comes to mind that St. ... could work on immediately is the website's page about Spiritual Direction & Mentorship. Who are these three directors/mentors? What's their availability? What are their foci? How much do they charge? The webpage says they are trained, but where and through what programs?
A less easily-defined area for growth that I see is St. ... is a very common issue in the Catholic community as a whole in America. Although both the parishioners at Mass and the group at Connections have been very welcoming and friendly and nonjudgemental (save for one lady's claim that the devil uses disloyal Catholics to tear down decent Catholic communities, but there's one sourpuss in every crowd), I am among the youngest participants and I think the only unmarried and childfree women. I am a "Millennial," alone as far as I know in the community I've found at St. .... Forbes, the NY Times, Psychology Today, The Atlantic, and dozens of other distinguished publications have all connected several trends among my generation. We postpone marriage and parenthood, many rejecting both altogether, and view chastisement for these decisions as disingenuous, unsolicited judgements. We also participate the least in religious communities, by the widest margin yet recorded. Most of these listed publications have noted connections between these trends. The overall pattern thusfar is that we reject the idea of following tradition for tradition's sake - this is evident in home life, business, economics, and religion. The phrase "spiritual but not religious" is a concise summarization of "I want a connection with God but don't want to blindly follow arbitrary rules set by authorities who don't listen to their flocks." While some of the biggest reasons my peers have given for leaving the Church are political, I will not get into that. The political disagreement, anyway, is part of a bigger issue. The average middle-class Millennial who got good grades, participated in extracurriculars, had a good GPA at a good college or university, and followed the prearranged track to marriage + mortgage + children, ultimately graduated during the Recession. Following prearranged rules "for your own good" ended up in debt and worthless degrees. And on top of that, the average middle-class Millennial raised Catholic was Confirmed right around the time of the mishandling of the Church sex abuse scandal. The 2000's were a terrible time to come to adulthood, and most of those who had that misfortune have now come to reject what they see as unfounded authority altogether - the Church being at the top of that list.
Religious communities, especially Catholic and Mainline Protestant as they have lost the most followers among Millennials, have been trying to figure out why so many 25-35 year olds have been leaving and how to get them back again. Those who do stay tend to be very passionate and active, the Easter/Christmas church-goer may well be on the way out with older generations. Although my K-8 experience was a very extreme example, most of my peers have experienced similar painful disillusionment with their childhood parishes. They also haven't had my Jesuits and Franciscan nuns to show them that both compassion and sincerity are still present in the Church. Were it not for those two groups in my life, seeking out a parish community and discovering St. ... never would have happened.
The author Kaya Oakes has perhaps done the most comprehensive journalism regarding the Millennials' split with the Church. I highly recommend reading both her books Radical Reinvention(https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13239764-radical-reinvention) and The Nones Are Alright(https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/27397708-the-nones-are-alright) with an open mind. Very many churches, particularly Evangelical Protestants, have attempted commercial advertising in order to bring in the missing generation - this has backfired, as advertisements are typically viewed as insincere. Do not assume that poor hospitality is a deterrent, as most Millennials don't even make it to the step of parish shopping. Because most "recovering Catholics" my age see the Church as a cold, monolithic authority that gives its services only unreasonably conditionally, more subversive tactics may be needed. Be active in needy communities, listen nonjudgementally, and display compassion modestly. Matthew 6:1-8 and the Beatitudes in action would make a greater impression that could open an intergenerational dialogue. Most of my friends think I'm nuts for having any interest in the Church, especially considering my childhood parish, because they haven't experienced the compassion and listening that I have. I've already seen the potential for this at St. ... and while it's maybe a little unreasonable (maybe not, God works in mysterious ways!) to expect this parish to overcome the generational trend of the western world, helping even a few individuals heal the right could mean the world to them.
Something else that I would like to see both at St. ... and in the Austin Diocese as a whole is more interfaith networking. Whether this takes form in discussion forums, visits from neighboring pastors/priests/monks/rabbis/imams/etc, joint community service events, etc. I'm acquainted with the Society of Friends Meeting of Austin and while Quaker and Roman Catholic doctrine could not be more different, both communities seek to spread Christ through service to the needy. Not to mention that connecting members of different faith traditions decreases the frequency of hate crimes, which have been on the rise in the past few years nationally. I see interfaith networking as a wonderful bridge to a larger, closer, more compassionate community.
I realize that my background is very unique to St. ..., my parish ideals are individualistic, and that I am in many ways unlike the St. ... community. It would be unreasonable to expect any parish to change to fit the needs of one person, especially one without children and who doesn't plan to stay in the area for more than a couple years. But what both welcomes and keeps quality parishioners above all else is sincerity. Thusfar St. ... seems sincere in its efforts and values, as highlighted by holding the open Pastoral Plan Listening Sessions and asking for this kind of feedback.
Thank you very much, and I hope to hear back from you,
K
Hospitality has been a remarkable strength of St. ..., as well as its diversity of ministries and the comprehensive information about them provided both on the parish website and at the parish itself. Church life is evident there every day of the week rather than just on Sundays, and that is very refreshing. The one specific thing that comes to mind that St. ... could work on immediately is the website's page about Spiritual Direction & Mentorship. Who are these three directors/mentors? What's their availability? What are their foci? How much do they charge? The webpage says they are trained, but where and through what programs?
A less easily-defined area for growth that I see is St. ... is a very common issue in the Catholic community as a whole in America. Although both the parishioners at Mass and the group at Connections have been very welcoming and friendly and nonjudgemental (save for one lady's claim that the devil uses disloyal Catholics to tear down decent Catholic communities, but there's one sourpuss in every crowd), I am among the youngest participants and I think the only unmarried and childfree women. I am a "Millennial," alone as far as I know in the community I've found at St. .... Forbes, the NY Times, Psychology Today, The Atlantic, and dozens of other distinguished publications have all connected several trends among my generation. We postpone marriage and parenthood, many rejecting both altogether, and view chastisement for these decisions as disingenuous, unsolicited judgements. We also participate the least in religious communities, by the widest margin yet recorded. Most of these listed publications have noted connections between these trends. The overall pattern thusfar is that we reject the idea of following tradition for tradition's sake - this is evident in home life, business, economics, and religion. The phrase "spiritual but not religious" is a concise summarization of "I want a connection with God but don't want to blindly follow arbitrary rules set by authorities who don't listen to their flocks." While some of the biggest reasons my peers have given for leaving the Church are political, I will not get into that. The political disagreement, anyway, is part of a bigger issue. The average middle-class Millennial who got good grades, participated in extracurriculars, had a good GPA at a good college or university, and followed the prearranged track to marriage + mortgage + children, ultimately graduated during the Recession. Following prearranged rules "for your own good" ended up in debt and worthless degrees. And on top of that, the average middle-class Millennial raised Catholic was Confirmed right around the time of the mishandling of the Church sex abuse scandal. The 2000's were a terrible time to come to adulthood, and most of those who had that misfortune have now come to reject what they see as unfounded authority altogether - the Church being at the top of that list.
Religious communities, especially Catholic and Mainline Protestant as they have lost the most followers among Millennials, have been trying to figure out why so many 25-35 year olds have been leaving and how to get them back again. Those who do stay tend to be very passionate and active, the Easter/Christmas church-goer may well be on the way out with older generations. Although my K-8 experience was a very extreme example, most of my peers have experienced similar painful disillusionment with their childhood parishes. They also haven't had my Jesuits and Franciscan nuns to show them that both compassion and sincerity are still present in the Church. Were it not for those two groups in my life, seeking out a parish community and discovering St. ... never would have happened.
The author Kaya Oakes has perhaps done the most comprehensive journalism regarding the Millennials' split with the Church. I highly recommend reading both her books Radical Reinvention(https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13239764-radical-reinvention) and The Nones Are Alright(https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/27397708-the-nones-are-alright) with an open mind. Very many churches, particularly Evangelical Protestants, have attempted commercial advertising in order to bring in the missing generation - this has backfired, as advertisements are typically viewed as insincere. Do not assume that poor hospitality is a deterrent, as most Millennials don't even make it to the step of parish shopping. Because most "recovering Catholics" my age see the Church as a cold, monolithic authority that gives its services only unreasonably conditionally, more subversive tactics may be needed. Be active in needy communities, listen nonjudgementally, and display compassion modestly. Matthew 6:1-8 and the Beatitudes in action would make a greater impression that could open an intergenerational dialogue. Most of my friends think I'm nuts for having any interest in the Church, especially considering my childhood parish, because they haven't experienced the compassion and listening that I have. I've already seen the potential for this at St. ... and while it's maybe a little unreasonable (maybe not, God works in mysterious ways!) to expect this parish to overcome the generational trend of the western world, helping even a few individuals heal the right could mean the world to them.
Something else that I would like to see both at St. ... and in the Austin Diocese as a whole is more interfaith networking. Whether this takes form in discussion forums, visits from neighboring pastors/priests/monks/rabbis/imams/etc, joint community service events, etc. I'm acquainted with the Society of Friends Meeting of Austin and while Quaker and Roman Catholic doctrine could not be more different, both communities seek to spread Christ through service to the needy. Not to mention that connecting members of different faith traditions decreases the frequency of hate crimes, which have been on the rise in the past few years nationally. I see interfaith networking as a wonderful bridge to a larger, closer, more compassionate community.
I realize that my background is very unique to St. ..., my parish ideals are individualistic, and that I am in many ways unlike the St. ... community. It would be unreasonable to expect any parish to change to fit the needs of one person, especially one without children and who doesn't plan to stay in the area for more than a couple years. But what both welcomes and keeps quality parishioners above all else is sincerity. Thusfar St. ... seems sincere in its efforts and values, as highlighted by holding the open Pastoral Plan Listening Sessions and asking for this kind of feedback.
Thank you very much, and I hope to hear back from you,
K
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