Parenting

When I came out to my mom as "bisexual" - though we both knew I meant lesbian and just used that term to soften the blow - her immediate reaction was, "WHAT ABOUT MY GRANDCHILDREN?!" This has been a repeated concern, though with less frequency over time. As an only child, it's apparently my duty to provide children for her to play with after I got too old/independent. At first I was insulted that she would think that I wouldn't/couldn't have children because I'm not straight, and then became more insulted that she would expect me to want children in the first place.

In my family, it's a tradition to have sets of five. My mom is one of five, my uncle had five kids, one of his had five kids, and there are many other sets in the more extended family. As a remedy to my lonely, only-child upbringing, I used to want five kids. Upon progression through school and through a couple relationships, that want passed.

Now that I have my bachelor's, I'm living alone, and I want my master's . . . kids just seem ridiculous to me! Spoiling my newborn nephew will be enough! Although I realize that I probably won't feel the same way in ten years, I absolutely don't want children.

Much more appealing to me is to take in foster children, particularly preteens and teenagers. In particular, I would like to take in transgendered, intersex, genderqueer, etc. youth and to provide for them a safe and supportive home since so few other people are prepared and willing to do so. This is still a long way off and may never happen, me being an androgyne uninterested in marriage. My mom, of course, has no idea of my attentive plan.

At Women & Children First Bookstore today, I considered buying a book that's caught my eye for a few months: http://www.alibris.com/booksearch?qwork=9818167&matches=69&wquery=Transparent&cm_sp=works*listing*title. And then this one stood out: http://www.alibris.com/booksearch?qwork=10490474&matches=14&wquery=transgender+child&cm_sp=works*listing*title. While debating between those and five or six other books, I realized, "THIS IS STUPID! I'm many years away from parenting anything other than a cat! And when I may be ready for something more, who knows if I'll still want this?!"