Monday, August 24, 2009

My Body

It took a lot of work to attain security with my body. I came so close to making a big mistake in order to fit social standards of feminine beauty. Now, the only thing I'd like to change about my body is to add some bulk to it, the source of that want is because I can't afford much food and not any social ideals. On a related note, I'm female and I'm fine keeping it that way. I have no interest in any kind of surgery because my body is fine the way it is and, also, because my comfort in my body image is still rather shaky after everything that happened...

The idea of, "This is my body, get used to it," is the root of that security and that is why I don't want to pack or to bind. I have packed a couple times and it just felt weird, like wearing a padded bra: adjusting my appearance to change how others perceive me. NEVER AGAIN!! I stopped wearing bras in '04/'05 and I see a binder as a bra with a different purpose.

Perhaps I may get a cheap binder sometime, just to wear whenever I feel like it. If I ever got the urge to pack (using a sock. . . ), I would. I'm grateful to have a body that allows me to appear androgynous.

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